


But You Like Her Better

by HoneyMiso



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Minor OOC, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Symbolism, actually pretty major, also Heather by Conan Gray in case you didn't notice, but it's really just me projecting, that's it I think, this was supposed to be kagehina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:41:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26005099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyMiso/pseuds/HoneyMiso
Summary: "I wish I was-"
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 47





	But You Like Her Better

**Author's Note:**

> Ever have one of those moments where you think "wow, this could be a fanfic prompt" but there are surprisingly little fics with the prompt so you CREATE AN ACCOUNT JUST TO WRITE A FIC yeah that was basically me. So I just listened to Heather by Conan Gray and it really hit different. Then I saw this TikTok by @melonfruitart24 and I was like wOw wHaT iF tHiS wErE a fiC. So here. I tried to write kagehina as in character as possible but eventually it just spiraled into an angsty melodramatic pining shitfest and I was too lazy to fix it. Anyways, enjoy :)
> 
> Btw recommended listen is obvs Heather by Conan Gray

**December 3**

It was softer than I imagined.

No regrets at all. Although I felt a little guilty when you were running around frantically, looking for your "lost" sweater. The light colored sweater you seemed to wear everyday. It smells like milk and sweat and...

Crap, you saw me. Oh wow, that's a terrifying expression. Gotta go before you catch me!

 **December** **4**

I returned your sweater today. 

I had to run away to avoid being hit by you, so I almost missed it.

It was so soft I almost thought I imagined it.

"It looks better on you anyways"

P.S. Your face is really scary, you know?

 **December** **5**

December 22. I'll make sure you never spend it alone ever again.

Say, what kind of birthday present do you want?

 **December** **6**

If only I could give you a sweater that'll always keep you warm. Then you'll never have to be cold ever again.

 **December** **7**

We got a new manager today. 

We were in the middle of a scrimmage when Yachi brought her in. A female manager. I'm sure Tanaka senpai and Nishinoya senpai are happy.

 _Killer serve_ , I had said. You took a moment to respond.

Weird.

 **December** **8**

You asked for a water refill today. You've never needed more water before.

On another note, I woke up coughing in the middle of the night. There were a few bright yellow petals on my bed. I don't think they were there before.

**December 9**

You kept glancing back at the gym doors today. Was there something wrong with the door?

The petals are starting to come out in handfuls, it'll be harder to dispose of.

 **December** **10**

I don't think I've ever seen you wear that expression before. For some reason, I don't like it.

The hallway trash cans are becoming my best friend.

 **December** **11**

She came, and I turned around. Maybe it was because I didn't want to see the way your hands went stiff, the way your eyes lingered longer than usual.

...

_What a sight for sore eyes._

**December** **12**

You've never turned down weekend practice before.

 **December** **13**

I passed by a flower shop today. Roses, marigolds, and petunias, oh my! It's like a sea of color in here! ( ~~Though~~ ~~I pretend not to see the yellow ones~~ ) I wonder if I can still be the first one to give you flowers? Though you'd probably tell me that they'll be too much trouble to take care of. 

Did you know? Roses signify love (you probably didn't know)

_If only you knew how much I liked you..._

**December** **14**

You were sitting with her, and you were laughing. How long had you known her for? How long it had taken for me to make you smile like that? How incredible of a person must she be, if she can make even you smile like that?

I hope the janitor doesn't mind the heaps of orange I left in the sink. Well, at least they aren't yellow anymore...

 **December** **15**

I yelled at you. I shouldn't have done that. In fact, with your skills, you never really needed to practice at lunch with me everyday. But did you really have to yell back?

She came to me later, apologizing. Why is she apologizing? She never did anything wrong. Why am I so mad at her when it wasn't even her fault?

How?

How is she so genuinely worried about our friendship, want the two of us to get along well, when all this time I've been worried about her taking you away from me...?

_How can she be so beautiful...?_

**December** **16**

She held you, and you pulled her close, and burst into tears in the arms of this girl you've known for little over a week. I've never seen you cry before... 

_I didn't belong there._

Still, when I looked back at her, at that perfect angel that managed to open your heart...

_I kind of wish she were dead._

Guess I won't be the first one to give you flowers.

 **December** **17**

It was a cold day.

I don't know why I had even bother to come.

I knew you wouldn't look my way, not when she was there. But somehow, I felt that this was my last chance. For what? I didn't know. 

Couldn't stand the sight of you holding hands with her. Your arm around her shoulder. Cried in a bathroom, came back, hoping you wouldn't notice my swollen eyes, saw her, and she was wearing-

_Oh_

_I guess you wouldn't be able to see me anyways._

Suddenly, couldn't breathe, could feel them bubbling up my throat, couldn't breathe, felt it at the tip of my tongue, couldn't breathe-

I left before it would all spill out.

_Even though I was running, the winter breeze felt colder than ever._

That night, I vomited violet, orange, and bright yellow on my bed. So much for hiding it from my family.

_I wonder if I'll ever see a rose petal..._

**December** **18**

_Why?_

_Why?_

_Why_?

_It's just polyester. So why is it a big deal?_

They won't stop. They just kept forcing their way up my throat. I couldn't even move half a step without leaving another pile of red. But it's better while I'm asleep. So I stayed in bed.

You came by. Knocked on my bedroom door multiple times. I didn't see you. But I wanted to. It had only been one day, yet I was already craving your presence. But when I thought of her in the same sweater you let me wear, and the chance that you might have brought her along, I could only pretend I was asleep, pretend I didn't hear his knocking. Didn't hear his soft voice, gentle instead of rough for once. Didn't hear the soft tiptoes over the mountains of violet, of orange, of yellow. Didn't feel that gentle pressure on my forehead.

_But you like her better..._

**December** **19**

I woke up in a room of white.

It's finally gotten to the point where I've been transferred to a hospital. I had hoped not to let anyone else find out, but I guess it was inevitable. Coach has been glancing at me lots throughout practice. The captain has bought me a lot of meat buns, more so than usual. Even Kenna, all the way in Tokyo, had noticed, and wants to come see me. It hurts to see their worried faces as they tell me that I'll get better, because I know otherwise.

To cough up flowers until you die of heartbreak, with the only cure being surgery. The doctors tell me I still have a few months, but I know that I'll only a few days at best. 

These days, I sleep more often than I'm awake, and spend every waking hour coughing up a storm. A storm of _daffodils_. Respect. Regard. Unrequited love. _You're The only one._

_"The sun is only shining when I'm with you."_

I want to live. Want to move on from these painful feelings that have stolen my every waking hour. But how could I just let go you when you're the best thing that happened to me?

I know you care about me. That I'm special to you. But even if I can pretend not to notice the daffodils, I can't pretend not to notice the way you look at her.

Because did you know? When you look at her, your eyes are clearer than the blue sky. And I've always been watching you. So I know.

But even though I know, I can't help but wonder...

 _Why_?

_Why did you have to meet her? Why does she have to be so pretty? Why do I hate her, even when she's so pretty?_

_Why would you ever kiss me?_

_Why even bother to care about me?! I'm not even half as pretty as she is...why cant I be as pretty as her?!_

_Why_...

_Why can't I just be..._

**December** **20**

They all came to see me. But you never walked through the door. 

Because she's got you mesmerized...

While I die.

_But I didn't even get to wish you happy birthday yet..._

**December** **21**

I'm in love with you. For as long as I remember. 

And I've loved you long enough to know you'll never see me. Or see me that way, at least. I'm your friend, rival, partner. And that's enough. That should be enough...

_But still, I just really, really wished I was..._

***

_The door made a loud bang as you stomped into my ward._

_Panting and sobbing, you dropped down beside me, hair disheveled, eyes red._

_You told me you were sorry, sorry for ignoring me, sorry for looking at anyone other than me..._

_You begged me not to leave, not to leave you behind because I was the world to you, because I was the one you truly loved._

_We embraced, teary-eyed with promises of love, promises of forever..._

_You told me to rest, promised me you would be right be my side when I woke up._

***

The room was dark again by the time he woke up. A pair of golden eyes stared at him across from across the room.

He had a million questions, all unable to leave the tip of his tongue, except...

"Will he be happy?"

The other didn't respond, but the flash that went through his eyes told him everything he needed to know.

***

The clock struck twelve.

A single rose petal, the first and last of its kind, landed on the bed, dark crimson in contrast to the clean white sheets.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Anyways just wanted to say I may try this song inspired fic thing again so if y'all have any songs or other shit (I've been eyeing of SIX the Musical) comment down below.


End file.
